


Parenting 101

by andSheSaid



Category: L'Arc~en~Ciel
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 00:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4939885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andSheSaid/pseuds/andSheSaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyde is summoned to Tetsuya's house to give lessons on a terrible deed that involves a crying baby and dirty diapers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parenting 101

Hyde lazily picked up the phone. An unknown number was calling him. At first, he considered not answering it, but despite himself, the vocalist swiped the green icon.

"Hello?"

 "Hey, Hyde!"

 "… Who's this?"

 "How come you don't know? It's me, Tetsu, for god's sake!"

 Blinking confused, Hyde took the phone out of his ear and double-checked the number. Yep, it was definitely an unknown number.

 "Did you change your number again?"

 "Yeah"

 "When?"

 "I don't know, six months ago?"

 Well, that was a quite a lot of time to go without talking to the leader of his main band, Hyde thought, actually amazed at themselves.

 "Listen" Tetsu resumed when he didn't receive any reply from the vocalist "I need your help _right now_ " He sounded very serious.

 "What is it, what happened?" Hyde got up the sofa he had been reclining on, suddenly worried.

 "Ayana is sick and-"

 "Oh my God, is she okay? Is the baby okay? Did you call an ambulance? Is she bleeding?"

 "… Hyde, my son is almost one year old now."

 "… Oh".

 Well, they sure needed to catch up.

 " _The thing is_ " Tetsu resumed again, pointedly "Ayana is sick, she went to visit her parents this morning but started to feel ill there, apparently she's got the flu, I mean, _she is fine_ , but still not well enough to grab a taxi or something. Her mom says it's better for her to rest for the day, and I agree, but…" He hesitated. "I'm alone with Amuro and-"

 "Oh! His name is Amuro? Like in Gundam?" Hyde interrupted, holding the phone against his right shoulder and opening the fridge. He wondered if he had soba leftovers.

 "Yeah, I chose it! Cool, right?", the bassist's voice sounded very excited and proud.

 Hyde blinked twice at the open fridge. "Yeah, it's amazing", the singer's voice, on other hand, sounded unimpressed. _What a fucking nerd,_ he thought, cringing and scratching himself through his Doraemon pajamas.

 "…Anyway. Hyde. I've been alone with him for a few hours now, and… S-something terrible has happened."

 "What happened?" He asked, downright scared now, holding a huge piece of cake he just found on the fridge and that he very much intended to eat right away.

 "… He… Oh God, Hyde, it's terrible."

 "What!?"

 "He… Pooped. The smell is terrible, Hyde. _What do I do?_ "

 Hyde slowly deposited the cake on the counter and stared at his kitchen wall like it was the abyss leading to the other world. And the abyss looked back.

 "Have you tried, I don't know, _changing his diapers_?" He grabbed a spoonful of the strawberry cake, despite the slightly disgusting path this conversation was leading to.

 "Well, you see, that's why I called you" the bassist sounded uncharacteristic hesitant and awkward.

 Hyde froze halfway through his bite.

 "I need your help to change the diapers".

 He swallowed the cake as if it was poison.

 "… Please?".

 "Tetsu, that's not something I can teach over the phone". He put the spoon down, resigning to his fate.

 "I know, that's why I'm asking you to come over".

 Hyde rolled his eyes, glad that Tetsu couldn't see him. "Don't you have someone else to teach you that?"

 "My babysitter isn't available this weekend!"

 "Ask a friend, then!"

 "You are the only friend I have who already has a kid, Hyde! Who I should have called instead, Ken-chan? Ken-chan would probably give a cigarette to Amuro to play with!"

 Well, that was true.

 "Well, what about your sisters, then? Don't you have nephews?" All he wanted was to eat cake and lay on the couch the whole Sunday, why was God denying him that? What had the done to incite wrath from the heavens?!

 "My sisters live in fucking Osaka, Hyde!" Tetsu almost cried "Please? I'll do anything you want in return!" By the sound of it, the bassist was practically kneeing in the middle of his living room, begging.

 "Alright, alright, I'll make you kiss my ass for a whole month then", he grumpily replied, but actually felt a bit sorry about his leader.

 "Well, you have a nice ass, doesn't sound that bad" the bassist answered wickedly – now the whole begging had a positive result, his good mood was back on.

 "Shut up, don't hit on me or I'll make you eat your son's dirty diaper" Hyde huffed, although inwardly he felt very pleased about the compliment on his ass. No one complimented his ass. "I'll be there in 15 minutes!"

 "Okay, I'll wait for you!"

 "You still live near that park, right?"

 "Yup!"

 "Okay, see you soon, then". He hung up, longingly gazing at the cake he was putting back inside the fridge.

 He shouldn’t have answered the unknown call, after all.


End file.
